Caught by Her Read online

  He walked into the kitchen and grabbed two small tumbler glasses. He set them on the table in front of us and opened the bottle, as he poured a thumb-full of the amber liquid.

  “I’ve got the car, and I’ve got to get to work”

  “One glass won’t hurt you, boy. Spill it, what’s happened? This isn’t lady trouble. I know that look. What’s he done?”

  I glanced down at my feet, unable to make eye contact with him, not wanting to see his reaction to the news I was dreading having to tell him. “Jonathan overdosed…he’s ok…he’s fine.” I added the last part quickly, flicking my eyes up to meet his.

  There was no reaction on his face. He simply stared back at me, waiting for me to continue.

  I looked back down at my feet. “James rang, I don’t know how he was aware of it but he knew. Apparently there were some terms in Jonathan’s letter from our parents that, if he were to overdose or have charges laid against him for drugs, he would forfeit the money. We would no longer need to wait for a set period of time; the money would just automatically transfer across to me. I’m going to get most of their money, Gramps.”

  “And you feel guilty about this,” he stated, matter-of-factly.

  I shrugged, searching for the correct response.

  He saw my face and continued, “Do you think your parents wanted to leave him the funds to bring about his own demise? Know that the money they’d worked hard for was being used to destroy their son? It’s not a huge amount in the grand scheme of things, Nate, but it can be used to better your life, to make things easier for you, to help you. Your brother has been given chance after chance. He stole from them, yet they still left provisions for him. Even now funds are being held back for him to have the help he needs if, and that’s a pretty big if, Nate, he asks for it. He’s got to want it and be willing to fight his addiction, and, in all honesty, I don’t see that happening with him. He’s weak and he’s selfish. I don’t want to upset you, but I want you to understand your parents’ stance on this. This money could help improve your life, help bring you happiness and joy, whereas your brother will be an ungrateful shit and blow it on killing himself and hurting those around him even more. He deserves nothing from your parents, and he sure as hell deserves nothing from you, not a penny, and certainly not a second of guilt or upset.”

  He didn’t need to say anymore, I smiled tightly at him, clasping my hand over his “I know, Gramps. I do. Honestly, I’m trying to understand and I do really, I know I can’t do this anymore, but…” I trailed off, shaking my head gently.

  How could I explain to him the guilt I felt, the guilt I felt at even being born, at disrupting Jonathan’s existence so much that he felt the need to hate me as much as he did, the guilt for all the imagined slights that he’d felt over the years that had caused him to act out in such a destructive manner.

  My Gramps seemed to read my mind and frowned at me. “This is nothing to do with you, Nate. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times - you cannot be responsible for other people’s actions, and you can’t save everyone. If you’re that bothered about the money, you can give it away to charity, but, personally, I think that would be damn stupid. He has had more than enough chances Nate. You have the opportunity to make a good life for yourself; don’t let him drag you down! He hasn’t been a part of your life for a long time, son. Sometimes relationships don’t work, and the only option is to walk away. Don’t try and make him whole by breaking yourself in the process.” He looked at me earnestly, his eyes pleading with me, and I gave in, smiling gently and telling him that I said I was walking away, and that’s what I intended to do.

  I fingered the small glass of liquid that he’d placed in front of me, glancing at the clock.

  He caught my look and taking it from me, he knocked it back swiftly. “It’s 5pm somewhere, boy.” He grinned at me and I found myself breaking into laughter.

  I asked after his “lady friend,” and he cackled back at me, filling me in with stories that I had no desire to hear, but that made me smile anyway. I stayed for a while longer before telling him I needed to leave for work.

  He stood and pulled me back into an embrace. “I’m not one for the soppy shit, Nate - I used to leave that to your Grandma - but I love you, boy - just want to know how proud I am of you.” He patted my back and stood stiffly. His eyes looked a little glassy, and I felt choked at his uncharacteristic display of emotion.

  “Lay off the booze, ol’ man! It’s turning you soft,” I joked as I gently cuffed his arm. He waved me off.

  I walked to the doorway, turning just before I left to say, “I love you too Gramps, more than chocolate and chips.” I added with a smile, as his lips broke into a wide grin at my reference to an old saying from my childhood.

  Lena

  Maddie was working until 6pm and planned on coming straight to mine to get ready. I went home and bathed.

  Once I’d got out, I sat in my vest top and yoga pants, painting my nails and singing along to music. I’d arranged for the others to arrive at 7.30 so that I’d have a chance to catch up with Maddie properly first.

  I’d had a text from her and could tell by the shouty capitals and excessive use of exclamation marks that she was just as excited as I felt. I curled my hair and pinned it up loosely on top of my head, leaving strands loosely around my face.

  I kept impatiently watching the clock, waiting for her to arrive. Nate had sent me a text telling me to have a good night and that he would pick us up around 1am. I’d pulled my outfit out onto the bed and began to get changed. I was standing in my underwear when I heard the door. Typical!

  I yelled out to her to come in and waited for a second to check she’d heard me. A few minutes later, I heard footsteps and then an appreciative whistle. I turned around to face her as she stood leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed and a smirk on her face, “Damn, Lena! You trying to entice me?”

  I picked up a pillow and threw it at her. “Shut up! I’ve been waiting ages! You always come at the worst moments. I think you like seeing me half naked,” I shot back and she laughed.

  “Baby girl, I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, but, sadly for you, I’m all the about the penis - the bigger the better - and they gotta know how to use it! No use having the goods if you can’t deliver.”

  I shook my head. “Well, I hope Christian meets your high standards. I won’t be able to look at him next time I see him!”

  She seemed to freeze for a split second before turning away, her laugh sounding forced.

  “Hey, is everything ok?” I asked, immediately concerned.

  I’d caught her dropping her guard momentarily, and I thought something was wrong, but she beamed back at me. “I’m good! C’mon, I’m excited to get out and enjoy!”

  I searched her face for answers, but she turned away from me, fussing with getting herself changed. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She stiffened for a moment before turning into my embrace. “You’d tell me if you were upset, Mads, yeah? Is everything ok? Please talk to me!”

  I felt her take a deep, fortifying breath and waited for a moment, but she released it and stepped out of my embrace. “I’ve told you, girl, I’m not interested! Don’t make both of us uncomfortable by throwing yourself at me.”

  I slapped her arm playfully, as she broke into laughter. We continued getting ready, laughing and joking together. She seemed happy, and I felt myself relax, relieved that there didn’t seem to be anything bothering her.

  Kelly and Lindsay arrived together, each bringing a bottle of wine. I poured us drinks and we caught up on one another’s news. Kelly and Maddie were working on the same ward now and seemed to be becoming firm friends. Lindsay kept glancing at her phone and seemed a little quiet despite the smile plastered on her face. I asked her if she was alright, and she nodded, assuring me that she was fine. I noticed Kelly’s eyes darting over in her direction and wondered what I was missing. When the taxi beeped, we finished our drinks, locked up a
nd left for the night.

  We arrived at about 9pm at Milo’s which was starting to fill up. I shouted over the noise to Maddie and Kelly that Lindsay and I would find a table if they could get the drinks in. They agreed and went to stand at the bar and I linked arms with Lindsay, pulling her towards one of the few remaining free tables.

  “Are you sure you’re ok?” I asked once we had sat down, and I watched her glance over towards the bar.

  She looked back at me, her mask slipping to show her unhappiness. “It’s a bit of a mess, Lena. I applied for a job last year when I was looking to move away with my ex-partner but withdrew the application because we broke up. Luckily for me, I saw him for the cheating arsehole he was before upping sticks to the other end of the country with him.”

  I pulled a face in sympathy.

  “Anyway, they contacted me to say that they have another vacancy; they wanted to see if I was interested. I don’t really know what to do. Marcus and I haven’t been together that long, and I know that things are going well, but this is my career too. He’s found out that I’ve been speaking to Jeremy, too, which has just made things even worse…”

  “Jeremy is the ex, I take it?” I asked, and she nodded glumly. “Damn…I don’t really know what to say, Linds,” I muttered, “I guess only you know if it’s worth leaving everything and going for it. I get where you’re coming from; if I had to choose between Nate and my company, it would be a hell of a decision.”

  She looked at me sadly before glancing down at the table. I really felt for her: it was an awful predicament to be in.

  “What’s the job?” I asked.

  “There were a group of us that were good friends at university. Three of them have set up their own company and they are looking for someone who can help with the security aspects of it. I’ve been thinking about my future: my sister has just had a baby and working as a police officer isn’t something that I want to do when I have a family. I enjoy my job, but…” She shrugged. “This is a job that allows me to use existing skills. It’s office based, so there’s no danger or threat. It’s a normal Monday-to-Friday, 9-to-5, regular job. I’ve been waiting to apply to do my sergeant’s exams but, even if I do pass, the positions aren’t there. Funding is being cut all the time. The job is becoming more demanding, more draining. I don’t know…” she trailed off, and I could see how upset she was.

  I reached across and took her hand, “Lindsay, it sounds like you’ve already made your mind up!”

  She shook her head. “Not necessarily, I mean, I could look for a different job and still stay around here. I haven’t got to stay on the force. It’s just whether Marcus and I…”

  I squeezed her hand, a silent warning that Kelly and Maddie were returning to the table. I guessed from her earlier silence on the matter and broad smile that she didn’t want to discuss this in front of Kelly, which I completely understood. They sat down placing the drinks in front of us and I saw that Lindsay’s smile was back in place.

  The night flew by. I had a great time dancing, laughing and drinking. When I sat down to rub my aching feet and noticed that it was almost 1am, I couldn’t believe how quickly the time had flown by. I reached into my bag and grabbed my phone, firing off a quick message to Nate to let him know that we’d meet him outside Milo’s just after 1am.

  Maddie came staggering over to sit next to me, threw her arm around my shoulder and leaned into me. “I love you, baby girl.”

  “Love you too,” I replied, kissing her cheek. “It’s time to go now. I’ve just messaged Nate he’ll pick us up outside and drop you off.”

  She nodded. Her eyes were closing of their own accord, and I grinned as she laid her head on my shoulder. Kelly and Lindsay came over from the dance floor also ready to leave. I stood and hooked my arm around Maddie’s waist. She opened her eyes grumbling but walked out towards the entrance with me.

  The night air was cool and hit me immediately. I pulled Maddie closer towards me, “Fuck! It’s freezing!” she complained, making me laugh.

  I looked up and saw Nate and Marcus coming towards us. Despite my tiredness, I felt my stomach flip at the sight of him, walking towards me in his boots, work trousers and tee shirt. He reminded me of the first time we’d met. He’d removed his shirt and epaulettes and anything that could identify him as a police officer, although it was still blatantly obvious that he was in uniform.

  I licked my bottom lip and slowly dragged my teeth over it, making him aware of the salacious thoughts running through my mind as he got close.

  Marcus caught the gesture, “Maddie, you’re coming with me.” he said good-naturedly.

  I shook my head, about to argue, but he grinned at me, eyebrows raised, and I laughed. Maddie let me go and walked unsteadily towards Marcus, where Lindsay and Kelly were already standing.

  We all said goodbye, and I told Maddie I’d call her in the morning. Nate wrapped his arms around me and took me back to his car to go back to his house.

  I woke the next morning with Nate’s arms wrapped tightly around me and his leg thrown over mine. We’d fallen asleep entwined in each other, and we hadn’t appeared to move, despite how restless he had seemed in his sleep.

  I knew that the situation with his brother was upsetting him, and I didn’t know what to do or say to make it better. I’d considered contacting Clarissa, but the thought made my skin crawl, and the last thing I wanted to do was make things worse.

  As if he could sense me looking at him, his face broke into a smile even though his eyes were still closed. “You’re watching me sleep again aren’t you?”

  “No,” I responded, and he grinned, opening his eyes. His strikingly green eyes sparkled as he looked at me. At that moment, I hardly noticed the brown flecks. I could lose myself in his eyes. My mother used to say to me that eyes were the windows to the soul, but, with Nate, they were so expressive that I actually believed it.

  “I love waking up with you,” I said as I leaned forward, kissing him softly on the lips.

  His phone rang and he cursed, turning away from me to pick it up. He muttered as he looked at the caller ID, pausing for a second before sending it to voicemail.

  I watched him quizzically, and he threw his phone down turning back to face me. “I’ve got somewhere I need to be today. You wanna come?” he asked, ignoring the unanswered call and questions in my eyes.

  I furrowed my brow, waiting for an explanation from him but he rolled out of bed.

  “I’ll make us breakfast, get yourself ready we’ll need to go in about 40 minutes or so.” He leaned forward and kissed my head before tugging on a pair of sweatpants and going downstairs.

  I got up and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and freshen up. Going back into the bedroom, I heard the beep from Nate’s phone and walked over to it. On picking it up, I saw the unanswered call from Clarissa as well as a text message that had just come through. Fighting the urge to look, I placed it back down on Nate’s bedside table before going downstairs. I sat at the breakfast bar as he passed me a plate with two bacon rolls.

  “I love eating at this breakfast bar,” he caught my eyes, and I felt myself blush. “I have a whole new appreciation for it,” he said with a grin.

  I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat which seemed to amuse Nate even more. We finished breakfast and left the house.

  I fidgeted awkwardly in the car wondering if he’d actually wanted me to go with him or not. For someone who had been uncomfortable discussing his family, this seemed like a pretty huge step to take. He climbed in after me and started the car. Without taking his eyes off the road, he asked, “What’s wrong, Lena?”

  I turned to look at him, feeling uncertain. “Did you want me to come? I didn’t realise it was to do with the money when I agreed. I can meet you later if you’d prefer?”

  “I want you to come. Don’t feel awkward. Things that affect me will affect you. You’re a part of this, too.”

  I smiled at him. His words were sweet but Nate coming into money wasn’
t going to have any impact on me“Nate, this has nothing at all to do with me. I’m more than happy to come and support you, but only if you want me there. I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

  “I want you there. I need you there.” His simple words wound themselves around my heart.

  “Then I’m there, always.” I murmured softly, as I placed my hand on top of his as he drove.

  We pulled up outside a large office building. Nate pulled out his phone and phoned, and I waited patiently whilst he advised whoever he was speaking with that we were just arriving.

  It was a Sunday so the place was quiet. There were a few cars here and there but very few people were about. He took my hand in his once we’d got out of the car and we walked to the main entrance. An elderly gentleman appeared at the door and held out his hand to Nate. He smiled widely at both of us, called us in and closed the door firmly behind us.

  The building was huge. Directly in front of us was a large reception area, which was currently unmanned. We followed him up to his office, passing a few people who were giving up their Sunday in hopes of a promotion, or simply because they had no choice.

  It was your usual high-end business: potted plants along the corridors, bright lighting, lots of glass and white walls with bright, edgy artwork dotted along at spaced out intervals. It was impersonal but screamed sophistication and class.

  He led us into his office, going first through a little waiting area. It had much more character: I could see pictures of family members on his desk and little knick-knacks dotted about. He moved to sit behind a large oak desk and indicated for us to take a seat on two black leather chairs in front of the desk. We sat down, and he smiled affectionately at Nate.

  He held out his hand to me, introducing himself, and I responded and shook his hand. He turned to Nate. “I know that this has come as a surprise. I don’t know what your feelings are on this, Nate. I can only ask you to respect your parents’ wishes.”