Caught by Her Page 17

  Nate had been looking down at the desk but now slowly lifted his head to face him. “And he’s still taken care of? If he wants to go to a treatment centre, there are available funds?” Nate asked. His voice was troubled and I felt how difficult this must be for him.

  James nodded, not breaking eye contact with him. “I’ll go through the specifics in more detail in a moment, Nate, but let me reassure you, as a friend of your parents - forget my official capacity - as their friend, they wanted what was best for both of you. Jonathan has made his choices, and he’ll have to live with the consequences. He’s a grown man, and the decisions and repercussions of those choices are his to bear and nobody else’s. I can’t imagine how difficult this whole situation is for you, but this…” he gestured at the papers on his desk, “…this shouldn’t give you feelings of guilt or negativity. That is the last thing your parents would want. There is money set aside for a treatment plan,- if he chooses that and there is also a little kept back to help him get on his feet afterwards that. There will be £1 million transferred to you today, Nate. I can advise you on your best course of action, interest rates, investments, etc., - but let’s go through it slowly.”

  I was used to dealing with large sums of money, but the amount had shocked me. The company turnover for the last year had been four times that figure, but that was for a whole company, not just a single person. There were operating costs, logistical costs, administrative costs, employment costs, all manner of things to be taken out of that figure.

  That wasn’t 4 million pounds in my hand!

  That was not a figure that I’d been expecting. To just be handed that amount of money was staggering. No wonder Nate felt awkward about it if his brother was being left out in the cold. I glanced over at him but he was facing James.They began to discuss things in more detail, I felt superfluous and glanced around the room wishing that I hadn’t said I’d come.

  Nate noticed and stopped speaking mid-sentence, “I’m sorry, Princess”

  I shook my head and stopped him. “No, no, don’t be silly! It’s fine.”

  He reached out and took my hand. “No, it’s not. This affects you too.”

  My face must have shown my disagreement before I had a chance to speak because he smirked at me. “Lena, this will affect you - maybe not too much now - but it will. You’re a part of this. You know money. Help me understand this whole investment spiel.” He grinned at me, pulling me closer to him, and I smiled at his attempts to include me.

  We were there for almost two hours, discussing his options and completing the paperwork. James told him that he would call him the following morning, and we left.

  Walking back to the car, Nate suddenly stopped and pulled me into him, crushing his mouth to mine and leaving me breathless. He pulled back and looked at me with a huge grin. It was nice to see him happy again since he’d been so tense in the office. He didn’t seem particularly excited about the money, and I couldn’t really say I blamed him.

  He’d asked after Jonathan, making sure that he would be looked after, and it warmed my heart to see how much he still cared about his brother even after everything that had gone on between them. I still held onto the belief that they’d be able to work things out.

  “Stay again tonight.” It was more of a statement than a question, but I shook my head sadly.

  “I really can’t, I’ve got an important call to deal with first thing tomorrow and a mountain of paperwork and reading to catch up on tonight.” I looked at him regretfully.

  He gave me a half-smile back, then leaned over to give me a soft kiss before climbing in the car and driving us to my house.

  I really did have a lot on, but that wasn’t my real reason for declining him. I’d already given him my heart. I wasn’t ready to hand over my independence, as much as my head and body were battling each other. I missed him when he wasn’t there. He was on my mind constantly, and I hated being in my own house knowing I could be at his, but I had to try and keep some kind of control here.

  I’d never intended to fall so hard and fast.

  I hadn’t believed for a moment his threats to own me, but that’s exactly what was happening.

  I needed to remain the strong, independent woman I really was, the woman I’d spent years becoming.

  I hadn’t realised how closed-off I’d been before he came into my life, never wanting or needing anyone. Nate had turned all that on its head; my body was holding me to ransom with the need to touch him, speak to him, be with him, wanting him whenever he wasn’t around so badly that it was like a burning ache inside me.

  I’d already allowed him so much more than anyone else, so much more than I was entirely comfortable with. I wouldn’t become dependent on him. I loved Nate, but I couldn’t allow myself to become one of those women who lost themselves to a man. That wasn’t me. I’d worked hard to build myself up; I’d made myself strong and whole again.

  I wasn’t going to risk losing that.

  Nate

  I slammed my palm against the stop button on the running machine, hitting it with a resounding thump. Turning towards Marcus, I flashed him a triumphant grin. He was just slowing down, hitting the button just moments after me.

  “I demand a drugs test!” Marcus griped. He stood bent over, chest heaving, hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

  I laughed, throwing his towel at him as I used my own to wipe my face and neck. He took a long pull on his water bottle before following me over to the weights section.

  “You sorted that shit out with Lindsay?” I asked as I put my hand straps on.

  His demeanour changed instantly; he stood straighter as he glanced over to me. “Nope!” He emphasised the single word, daring me to pursue my line of questioning.

  I shrugged to indicate I’d been making small talk and wasn’t that interested anyway but he laughed seeing right through my ploy.

  “What’s happening with the money?” he fired back, looking smug as I grimaced and rolled my shoulders, trying unsuccessfully to dislodge the guilt that was still weighing me down.

  “Thought so! Let’s leave the talking to the women and do what we came here for, yeah?” he muttered as he began his own workout.

  We finished our session, showered and went to sit in the bar area. I brought two juices back from the bar, and we sat there for a few minutes in silence. It wasn’t awkward; yet it wasn’t entirely comfortable either.

  Finally, he caught my eyes and his own crinkled as he laughed softly and began to shake his head gently at me. “You shoulda been born a fucking chick! Jesus! You’re like a goddamn dog with a bone. I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Nate? I was pissed off because I’d just found out that the fucking ex was filling her head with crap! Lindsay and I are supposed to be friends…”

  I cocked an eyebrow at this, thinking the line of friendship was more than blurred.

  He ignored me “…and she’s discussing things with him, over me? But…whatever-” He shook his head dismissively. “…if she leaves, I’ll be sad. Will I cry? No. Am I going to declare my undying love and beg her to stay? No. Do I wish you’d stop looking at me and silently pleading with me to spill my guts? Yes.”

  He’d picked up the cardboard beer mat and was tapping it idly against the table as he spoke. I looked at him for a long moment. “Is she definitely going?”

  He shrugged, and began slowly picking the beer mat to pieces. “No idea. She needed to let them know fairly soon. I just told her to let me know what she decides.”

  I too felt pretty miserable at the thought of her leaving - Lindsay was a good friend.

  Marcus was tearing the beer mat to shreds, his foot bouncing erratically beneath the table. He could say what he liked; clearly this was eating away at him more than he wanted to admit. I downed my juice.

  I felt like a patronising jerk considering how I’d been acting the last week or so, but I couldn’t just let it go. “If you want her to stay, you should tell her.”

  He glared at me, sile
ntly warning me to mind my own business. I looked down at the tabletop to make my point. It was covered in discarded pieces of cardboard. I raised my eyebrow, “This-is-clearly-bothering-you” displayed on my face.

  He worked his tongue in his cheek, glancing away from me before turning back and pinning me with his eyes. “Leave it be, Nate. So, what’s happening with the money?” I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck.

  “You already know this bullshit.”

  He grinned, seemingly happier now that the tables had been turned, he could see my irritation and obviously enjoyed the payback for me discussing shit he didn’t want to talk about.

  “You felt the need to talk," he said as he held his hands up in a “Don’t-blame-me-it-wasn’t-my-choice” action.

  “The money is dealt with. It’ll go into investment funds or something. Lena helped explain it. I can’t bring myself to have that much interest in it all, to be honest. It doesn’t feel right…Yes, I know…” I held up my hand to stop him from interrupting me, “…I know… he brought it all upon himself. I understand that it’s all his doing, and I don’t need anyone else to tell me that I’m not to blame for his actions. I fucking know that but it still sucks, Marcus. Knowing that doesn’t make the reality of the situation any easier to deal with. It still feels like I’m fucking my brother over. I am well aware of the fact that, in truth, that’s exactly what he’s done to everyone else - himself included, ironically.”

  Marcus pulled a face. I knew he found it difficult to understand why I continued to have anything to do with Jonathan. He broke into my thoughts, snapping his fingers in front of me. “Nate! Stop thinking whatever it is you’re thinking. Shit’s getting so fucking heavy lately. Honestly, gimme beers, tequilas and a tight, wet…”

  I cut him off, knowing exactly what he was about to say. “Woah, woah, yeah! I get it! It doesn’t take much to keep you happy.”

  “C’mon now, 2.4. I get that you’re living the dream now, but it’s a different song sheet to the one I’m singing from, playing from…whatever the damn saying is. We can’t all live the fairytale.”

  Laughter began bubbling inside me. 2.4? What crazy shit was he rambling about now?

  He was sitting up straighter, his feet planted back firmly on the ground and his smile wide and genuine, a little too wide, meaning he was about to say something that was likely to piss me off.

  “Yep, that’s you, bro! 2.4 kids, the wife, the house… you’re a home bird…the whole love, marriage, babies…the whole shebang. I bet you’ve already looked at her and pictured the white dress!” he jeered at me, and I launched my cardboard mat at him.

  “Fuck off!” I scoffed, my mind drifting back to when I told Lena I’d make her my queen.

  Fuck Marcus and his mocking, shit-eating grin! He could go to hell before I admitted that. He grinned at me inanely. I didn’t need to admit anything: the bastard knew me better than I knew myself some days.

  He carried on with a knowing smirk, “Thank fuck you’ve got a decent one this time. Lena’s cool. I like her. You had your time - 3 years of screwing about and doing what you wanted - but that’s not you, not really. You’re a settler”

  “A settler?” I choked, and he nodded, his eyes dancing with mirth, enjoying the reaction he was getting and looking more amused by the minute.

  “Nate, I’m not doing you a disserve here; that’s just you. I don’t mean you’re settling for Lena – fuck, no, far from it. She’s a…”.

  “…10.” I interrupted him, leaning back in my chair.

  He had the sense to nod, a cocky grin on his face, “Yeah, she’s a 10, but it’s more than that: this domesticated shit – it suits you. It makes you happy. You’re good together, good for each other.” He shrugged.

  I looked at him for a moment before laughing and shaking my head. I’d never really thought of myself like that but I suppose I had been with Clarissa for a long time. The whole one-night-stand thing and friends-with-benefits had served a purpose, but it was never really my scene. As soon as Lena came into my life, I knew I wanted so much more.

  I changed the subject, confiding that I’d had a few more calls from Clarissa but hadn’t heard anything from Jonathan - not that I’d ever really expected to. I’d not bothered to answer any of her calls, responding bluntly by text that I had no desire to communicate with either of them. I’d explained that, if Jonathan got himself into a programme, there would be funds available to help but, until that time, I’d have no further contact. She’d continued to call and leave messages, pleading to speak to me, but I had no interest in listening to her sob story.

  I’d heard empty promises too many times from both of them. Deep down, I guess, I was hoping that this might be the wake-up call that Jonathan needed to actually pull himself together.

  Marcus looked irritated but didn’t say much. I already knew his feelings on the matter, and he knew how conflicted my own were. He finished his drink and we got up to leave, both needing to get ready for work.

  I’d not seen Lena since we left James’ office on Sunday, and I was looking forward to getting her back in my bed tonight. I’d called her Sunday night, expecting her to comment on her new ringtone, so I could try and convince her to come over and make good on my promises. She’d not mentioned it so I hadn’t said anything.

  When she explained that the phone had burst into “Freak me” during a conference call on Monday, I’d laughed so hard I couldn’t hear her. The more incensed she became, the harder I laughed until I could hear her laughing down the line too.

  I grinned at the thought that tonight I was going to remind her just how nice it was to fall asleep and wake up in my bed. I knew that she’d been fobbing me off with an excuse on Sunday, saying she was too busy to stay over, but I wasn’t going to push it. She was fiercely independent, and I knew how important it was to her to maintain that independence. If she needed to hold onto it for a bit longer, I could be patient, for a little while at least.

  Marcus’ words, combined with my Gramps’ previous pearls of wisdom, had been going around in my head, and, although I had no desire for marriage and babies just yet, the thought of her staying with me had grown in appeal. I wanted her in my house and in my bed every night. I’d need to bide my time, though, we’d only just got things back on an even keel I wasn’t going to scare her off or mess things up again.

  She would be moving in with me - that wasn’t in doubt - I just needed to make her realise how much she wanted to.

  Just before 7pm, my phone rang. Thinking it was Lena, I snatched it up from the sofa, grimacing when I saw that it was Clarissa – again! I dropped it back onto the sofa, ignoring the beep a few minutes later - most likely another voice message, pleading for me to call her back.

  I heard Lena’s car pull onto the drive just as it beeped again. I picked up the phone and saw that it wasn’t Clarissa, but the same unfamiliar number that had previously texted.

  I felt annoyance flare through me as I swiped the phone to read the message. I’d not had one since the photo of Lena had been sent. I’d contemplated reporting it - I’d be in a position then to be able to find out exactly who was sending the messages - but had decided that this would be better dealt with outside of the red tape and bureaucratic crap that the police force was restricted by.

  If it turned out these messages were from the animal in Lena’s past, I didn’t want there to be any record or trace of my involvement. He would be getting more than a slapped wrist; coming back after her would be the stupidest thing he’d ever done.

  “You’ve split once. You’ll break again. You’ll be left all alone.”

  I let out a growl of frustration, throwing the phone across the room onto the other sofa as Lena walked into the room. She froze, then her face crumpled with concern, and she came straight to me, dropping her bag to the floor.

  I pulled her down so she sat straddling me, still in her gym clothes, her body still damp. She opened her mouth to speak as I pulled her face towards me but I didn’t want
platitudes or concern now. I wrapped my hand around her neck, the other tugging her hair free from her ponytail as I kissed her deeply and possessively.

  Fuck whatever arsehole was sending these messages; she was mine and she wasn’t going anywhere.

  She pulled back, breathless and confused, as I smiled at her, already feeling calmer now that I’d had my first taste of her. She searched my face. “Everything ok? Not that I mind that welcome at all,” she added cheekily, though she still looked concerned.

  “I’m good…just missed your lips on mine.” I reached over and kissed her gently again. “Go on! Jump in the shower!”

  She looked at me for a moment longer. “You Ok?” she asked, her eyes going towards the phone which lay discarded across the room.

  I refused to follow her line of sight; that was just going to piss me off again. I stood up, taking her with me before she slid down my body to stand. “Go and shower, Lena. You need to get out of that lycra right now.”

  She looked at me for a moment, indecision warring over her features as she tried to decide whether to push me to talk. The look on my face must have given her all the reassurance she needed. If she didn’t move soon, she was going to find herself pinned up against the wall or bent over the sofa.

  “Now that Masters, I can do,” she winked at me before striding out of the room to shower.

  My phone beeped again, indicating low battery, so I took it to the kitchen to put it onto charge, frustrated that my attention had been drawn back to this crap instead of my daydream involving Lena, lycra and various surfaces around the house.

  I’d spoken to the phone company, but they wouldn’t release any information without a warrant. I’d known this to be the case, but the stubborn streak in me had forced me to try, anyway.

  I’d looked into the file that Stevie had provided and had driven past the property a few times to check out the surrounding area on the off chance that I could see anyone at the property. The house was just a normal, non-descript bungalow. The only occupants were he and his wife. I’d need to make sure that she wasn’t around when I paid him a visit.