Caught by Her Page 21

  “This is for both Lena and Lindsay, you worthless piece of shit!”

  I struck him hard in the chest, the knife penetrating easily before jarring to a stop.

  His eyes went wide, his mouth opening in a silent “O” to look at me, as he raised his hands to hold onto the knife, then collapsed back, and fell to the floor.

  I felt my knees start to buckle under me and slumping down, I crawled towards Lindsay. I tried to comfort her, even though I knew it was too late, holding her hand and telling her how much she’d meant to Marcus. Saying his name caused me to choke completely, my heart breaking for the man that was my true brother, my best friend.

  I heard the sirens getting closer and closed my eyes.

  Lena

  My knees almost gave way as I walked through the entrance to the hospital, the smells and sounds making this nightmare feel too real. Maddie slipped her arm around my waist, pulling me in close to her and holding me steady. “Be strong Lena, I’ve got you.”

  I took a deep breath, and we walked in. She led me straight to the accident and emergency reception desk. “We’re looking for PC Nate Masters. He was brought in as an emergency with two others after an assault.”

  The receptionist continued to type and asked without looking up, “Are you family?”

  The thought slammed into my mind that they wouldn’t give me any information. I wasn’t related; I wouldn’t be given any consideration as a girlfriend. Panic flared up inside me. I needed to know that instant what was happening with Nate; not knowing was torture.

  I glanced around quickly, looking for Kelly. She had called me, saying words to me that I couldn’t make sense of, words that had resounded in my head the whole drive, rendering me mute.

  She had taken a frantic phone call from Marcus and had been able to tell me that Nate and Lindsay were badly hurt. She’d also confirmed that there had been at least one fatality.

  Knowing that someone had died had pushed my fear to another level.

  Maddie squeezed my hand gently as I snapped at the receptionist, worry making my voice sharper than I’d intended. “I need to know what’s happening and where he is. I need to know that he’s ok!” I was surprised that I’d managed to blurt it out past the lump that was lodged in my throat.

  The receptionist finally raised her head to meet my eyes, her mouth turned down in a sour expression. “If you’re not family…” she began.

  I was ready to yell at her, grab her and shake her until she gave me the information that I needed, but Maddie spoke first, her voice firm and determined. “I work upstairs. I understand that you can’t give out personal information, but, please, have some compassion. Just let us know if he’s ok and what’s happening.”

  The receptionist looked at her, her face hard and unfeeling. Maddie stared back, standing her ground.

  The receptionist’s sharp eyes swept over Maddie before resting on me. “He’s gone straight through for surgery. It will likely be a few hours yet. There are some police officers waiting in the relatives’ room up on HDU. You’re welcome to join them, and they may be able to give you more information…”

  I looked at her blankly, as Maddie thanked her and began to pull me away. As we turned, I heard Kelly calling my name, and I saw her moving swiftly towards us. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me to her almost aggressively. Maddie moved to the side, and I stood stiffly in Kelly’s embrace before she released me, her cheeks red and puffy from crying.

  She took my arm and pulled me to the side, away from the reception desk. Maddie followed and we stood against the wall. She turned to look at me, her eyes glistening as she tried to hold back a fresh onslaught of tears, she spoke rapidly. “Lena, Nate is ok. He’s in surgery at the moment. I don’t know much - only that they took him straight into theatre. He was stabbed in the abdomen and he wasn’t conscious when they got to him. Marcus is waiting for information. He’s here, too…” she paused and closed her eyes, forcing herself to go on, a tear escaping and rolling down her cheek. “Lindsay didn’t…” she gulped the air, and my stomach clenched as I knew what she was going to say.

  Maddie put her hand over her mouth, distress showing on her face. Kelly took a deep breath, roughly wiping the tears on her face. “I’ve got to get to Marcus.” I nodded dumbly and we followed her.

  Lindsay hadn’t made it? The thought made my chest feel as if it was being squeezed in a vice. Marcus had lost Lindsay. I could lose Nate! This was a nightmare. I needed to wake up. This couldn’t be reality. I needed him too much. I loved him too much to lose him.

  Maddie gripped my hand again as we walked through the hospital. We went through into a waiting area and, as we turned a corner, I could see Marcus sitting hunched in a chair.

  The crushing reality of the situation hit me full force as I looked at him. He was the picture of devastation, sitting alone and desolate, red-eyed, his body bent forward and his hands clasped tightly in his lap. He turned to face me and I saw so much pain and despair in his eyes that it broke me. A sob tore from my chest, and within seconds he was on his feet, his arms wrapped around me, comforting me despite his own heartache. I clung to him, wanting to be strong for him, but unable to stop the flow of tears. He didn’t speak, his strong arms holding me to him. Eventually, he guided us back to the chairs as my breathing began to settle and my sobs became shuddering breaths.

  I wiped my eyes and tried to speak. “I’m so sorry, Marcus.”

  He shook his head, his voice hoarse and thick with emotion. “I can’t, Lena…”

  Kelly was sitting on the other side of him, and I saw her reach out to hold his hand.

  He took another breath and stared straight ahead. “I just need to concentrate on Nate.”

  I bit down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying again.

  We sat in silence, the minutes ticking by as we waited for news. There were two other police officers standing by the wall. They glanced in our direction before coming over and briefly introducing themselves. I guessed they were here in an official capacity but I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything they had to say. They returned to their chairs and I looked back at Marcus, he’d not even acknowledged them.

  Maddie broke the silence, asking quietly, “Have they told you anything about Nate’s condition?”

  Marcus continued to stare straight ahead, and I thought for a moment that he’d not heard her. Finally, he took a deep breath and spoke, his voice just as quiet as Maddie’s had been, the pain evident in his words. “Not since he went for surgery. He’d lost quite a bit of blood. He was barely conscious when we got to him.”

  I felt sick. I hadn’t realised that Marcus had been at the scene. The thought of what he must have walked in on made my stomach recoil.

  “You were there?” I whispered. Looking at him properly for the first time, I noticed that he was wearing a jacket zipped to the top despite the warmth of the hospital. The thought popped into my head that he was covering up his clothing. Before I had time to push it from my mind, I realised that it was probably stained with Nate’s and Lindsay’s blood.

  I turned away as I felt bile rise up in my throat and swallowed quickly, gulping as my throat and eyes burned. I wanted to say something to comfort him; as awful as this was for me, I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling.

  I selfishly hoped I wouldn’t have to feel the way he must be feeling.

  Maddie stood up, breaking the moment, “I’ll go and see what I can find out. I’ll be right back.” She left the three of us sitting there.

  Marcus spoke, breaking the silence, “Nate’s strong, Lena. He’s a tough, stubborn arsehole. He’ll be ok. He won’t leave you.” His voice cracked slightly, and I wanted to tell him he didn’t need to reassure me, he didn’t need to keep trying to be the strong one. The problem was that I didn’t know whether he was saying it for my benefit or his.

  I just sat there, clinging onto his hand, making the same silent pleading, begging and bargaining that I’d repeated in my head since ta
king the call that had shattered my world and my heart.

  Maddie returned, - only to report that surgery was proceeding as expected and that it would be a few more hours. We were told that we would be informed as soon as there was news.

  The waiting seemed endless.

  Kelly and Maddie tried to encourage Marcus and me to go and get coffee or to stretch our legs, but neither of us wanted to move.

  The other police officers came and went, talking on their radios and moving past us. They had introduced themselves as Detective Inspector Robinson and someone else whose name and rank I didn’t remember. I hadn’t paid any attention, offering them a small polite smile before returning my gaze to the wall in front of me.

  The fear was suffocating me; it was like a physical presence, constricting me, squeezing the air from my lungs and the hope from my heart.

  I glanced over at Marcus: he was pale, his face shut-down as he stared ahead. I squeezed his hand and he slowly turned to look at me.

  “You ok?” he asked.

  “Are you ok?” I countered, and he gave me a sad smile. “Nate will kick my arse if I don’t look out for you, so don’t worry about me.”

  Just as I was about to respond, the doors swung open, startling us. Before I had time to react, Marcus was on his feet, his face scrunched up in anger and disgust. “You’ve got a fucking cheek!”

  I jumped up and caught him before he could advance. “Marcus, no! I know you’re angry and upset but they’re family.”

  He glared down at me, his body vibrating with rage “They share blood, Lena. That don’t make them family. If anyone is Nate’s blood brother, it’s fucking me!” He turned to them and snarled, “Nate wouldn’t want you here.”

  I could feel the tension in his body as he stood against me; thankfully, Jonathan and Clarissa had the good sense to stay quiet. He could have easily pushed past me, but allowed me to guide him back to his seat and we both sat down. He rolled his shoulders, his jaw tight and his posture rigid, and went back to staring at the wall, refusing to acknowledge their presence.

  The police officers who had been sitting to the side walked towards us and I got up to allow them to speak to Marcus in privacy and to give me a chance to speak to Jonathan and Clarissa.

  Kelly was still sitting next to Marcus. She looked in their direction, shooting daggers, but had refrained from saying anything.

  Knowing that she had to work that evening, I’d made Maddie leave a little while ago, but now I missed her silent support, her show of solidarity. I wished that I had her standing beside me as I went to face them. She’d turned my phone off silent and programmed her direct line into the phone before she left so that I could keep her informed.

  Clarissa looked nervous, there was no sign of her normal, smug, self-assurance and she looked uncomfortable. Jonathan stood scowling next to her. I walked over and trying to force a friendly smile as I got close. As much as I might detest the pair of them, they were Nate’s family, whether Marcus and I liked it or not. They had shown up here; that had to count for something.

  “Hi,” I paused, not knowing what to say to them. “We’ve…um…we’ve not been given much information… only that he’s in surgery. It shouldn’t be too much longer, we hope - maybe another hour or so?”

  Jonathan’s scowl deepened “I thought he’d be out by now!” He brushed past me and took a seat away from the rest of us, pulling his phone from his pocket.

  Clarissa faced me. “What happened?” she asked. She looked distraught, and, as much as I hated her for the way that she’d hurt Nate, and the actions that she’d taken to cause problems for us, I couldn’t help but feel for her. She obviously still cared for Nate.

  I looked at her blankly. I had no idea what had happened. I hadn’t even thought to ask. My only concern and focus had been on Nate. I wasn’t even sure what injuries he was facing only that he had been stabbed.

  “You don’t even know? Haven’t you asked?”

  I felt my skin bristle at her tone and bit down my retort.

  “We need to know what happened!” she demanded loudly into the room.

  The officers who had been beside Marcus stood up. The one whom I recognised as the DI walked over and held out his hand in greeting to her. They walked over to Jonathan and sat beside him and I went to Marcus.

  As I reached over to try and give his hand a reassuring squeeze, he gripped my hand tightly and said softly, “Come outside. I need to speak to you a minute.”

  I got up and followed him out of the room. We stood in the corridor, and he looked uneasily at me, running his hand through his hair in a gesture that reminded me of Nate before sighing heavily. He was frightening me, making me even more worried than I was already. Just as I was about to snap at him to talk, he began to speak, his voice low.

  “A call came through that there was a domestic disturbance. Lindsay…” he paused for a second and swallowed and I automatically reached out for him. He shook his head and closing his eyes, forcing himself to continue. “She took the call and advised that she’d attend. I can only presume Nate was in the area as well, and that he would have advised her that he was en route and for her to wait for him. For whatever reason, she didn’t…” His chest was rising and falling rapidly, and I wanted to reach out and comfort him but he continued, his anguish palpable. “I don’t know if Nate recognised the address and that’s why he went, or if he really was close by, but, either way, he got there pretty quickly - just not quickly enough.” His voice broke but he recovered quickly, gulping air and turning away from me.

  I couldn’t understand why he felt the need to tell me this now, or why he’d pulled us into the corridor. He looked back at me and must have seen the confusion on my face.

  “The address belonged to a Jason- ” The minute that he said his first name, I heard a loud ringing in my head, my vision began to swim, and I felt myself sag.

  Marcus grabbed me and pulled me into him. “Nate killed him, Lena. You need to listen to me.”

  I felt sick. Everything around me was spinning so fast. The last memory I had of Jason bringing his image to the forefront of my mind.

  How had this happened? It made no sense. Why would they be attending a call at Jason’s house?

  How could he be damaging my life again?

  Nate had killed him? I couldn’t process this.

  I pushed back, breaking away from Marcus as I raced down the corridor. I burst into the toilets, dropping to the floor as I expelled the contents of my stomach into the bowl. Marcus was behind me a split second later. He pulled my hair back and held it away from my face as I retched. “I’m sorry, Lena.” He repeated over and over as I heaved, before eventually falling back onto my heels. My whole body was shaking.

  He caught my hands between his and forced me to look at him. “Lena, you’ve got to listen to me.”

  I nodded, trying to force myself to concentrate on his words and not the noise inside my head.

  “Nate killed him, Lena. I don’t know how Jason is connected with you – Nate didn’t break your confidence -but I know that Nate hated him and had reason to believe he was behind your letters. That can’t come out. At the moment, there is nothing to tie you or Nate to this in any way. It’s a domestic call gone wrong, and Nate has had to defend his life. It’s self-defense, pure and simple. If they know there is more, it could lead to an investigation that could drag on and on, literally for years if the Independent Police Complaints Commission is involved. I wanted to give you warning. I’m glad I did,” he added wryly, pulling me to my feet.

  “He’s really dead?” I whispered and Marcus nodded looking sombre again.

  “He’s dead, Lena. He can’t hurt anyone else.” A shadow flickered across his face and I felt my heart break for him. He walked us back to the relatives’ room and we sat down again in our chairs. Kelly watched us carefully, silently asking if everything was ok.

  I nodded briefly and we resumed our silent vigil. I tried to focus on keeping my mind blank but I couldn�
��t stop the guilt from swamping me.

  The fear that had held me in its grip since I’d taken that phone call had been joined by a burning ball of guilt that was lodged in my chest. I rubbed the spot absent-mindedly.

  I knew that this was all my fault. These were the repercussions from the fact that I’d not reported it all those years ago. I’d had another opportunity when I’d thought that it was him sending the letters, but I’d lost my nerve to go and confront him. This all came down to my weakness. The guilt was choking me, I could barely breathe and my chest hurt.

  Marcus caught sight of me out of the corner of his eye and mouthed to me, speaking almost under his breath, “Keep it together, Lena, for Nate.”

  It felt like a sucker punch, but it had the desired effect. I took a long, shaky breath and closed my eyes, forcing everything from my mind. I’d have to deal with this later,

  I couldn’t think about Jason, the blame or Lindsay. I just needed to concentrate on Nate. I needed to know that he was going to be ok.

  I could make my apologies later.

  I could fall apart once he was out of surgery.

  I just needed to see him and know that he was going to be alright.

  It had been almost four hours since I’d first sat in the chair when the door opened. Marcus was on his feet instantly to walk over to meet the surgeon.

  Jonathan and Clarissa stood and made their way over slowly. I rose unsteadily, my legs feeling heavy as stone. Marcus turned back to look for me and I forced myself to join him.

  The surgeon looked professional and aloof and the sight of him sent chills through my body. “I need to speak to PC Master’s next of kin.”

  Marcus spoke up before anyone else could, “We’re all family. We need to know how he is.” he stared intently at the doctor.

  I felt Kelly move to stand beside him. I glanced over at Jonathan whose scowl had returned to his face and who was in an animated, hushed conversation with Clarissa. The surgeon looked perplexed as he looked at us all standing in front of him.